This is a last-resort technique, when all else has failed. Before you use this method, you should have tried other ways of stopping the bad behaviour, such as distraction and ignoring.

The method is called “Time Out”, where you simply put your child in a room and ignore it for a few minutes.

There are two steps involved in the Time Out.

Step 1 – Ask your child politely to stop misbehaving.

If the child continues to behave badly, ask a second time, but this time more firmly. This gives the child two chances to change behaviour. If the child actually stops misbehaving, give it praise and love so that it understands that stopping the bad behaviour brings your positive attention.

Step 2 – If your child continues to behave badly, you go on to execute the Time Out.

Escort your child firmly, but with no attention, to a safe place where you can leave it alone for one minute of each year of its life (for example four minutes for a four-year-old), up to a maximum of five minutes.

The safe place can be a chair or the stairs, but if the child refuses to stay put, you may have to put it in a room and shut the door. If you put the child in a room, and the child keeps opening the door, you must hold the handle firmly so the door won’t open and the child is aware that you are there. Do NOT lock the door and leave.

The Time Out is an extreme form of ignoring. During the Time Out, do not talk to the child or give it any attention in any form.

This technique allows everyone to calm down and avoids escalation to even more extreme forms of punishment. It tells your child very powerfully that its behaviour is totally unacceptable.

When the Time Out period is over, you must calmly explain to your child why it was Timed Out and let it go on to play. Then at the first opportunity, give the child praise for good behaviour.

Time Out is a powerful technique, but be careful not to overuse it, as that will reduces its effectiveness. Use distraction or just plain ignoring whenever you can, and reserve Time Out for the extreme case.

For more information on parenting, go to http://www.best-howto.com/parenting/

Odinn Sorensen is a proud father of a 4 year old very happy and healthy daughter.

As parents we all need to occasionally be reminded of what we can do to be the best parents to our children. Below is a list of five of my favorite tips:

1. Listen to your child. My idea of listening is very different than many other peoples. When I say listen, I mean truly listen. Let your child do the talking. This is not the time to voice your opinion. This is not the time to tell your child they handled something wrong, or should have handled it differently. This is time to just listen to your child. I have a very special 5 year old who comes to visit me from time to time. A few times when she’s come she’s been very upset. When someone at school says something mean, this is very traumatic to a 5 year old. I just listen and offer hugs. Often when she leaves, she is smiling. I then have a 16 year of my own. When she talks, I listen. I let her tell me what’s happening, how she solved the situation and how she feels about how she handled everything. This is listening.

2. When helping children recognize the differences between the choice they made and other choices, always talk about the choices, or the behavior, never talk about the child. The child is not good or bad or right or wrong. However a child might have made a choice that was not a great choice. Or the child might have made a choice that was just excellent. With a very young child, they might decide to pull a dogs tail. It’s important to stop the behavior but to also talk about the behavior not that the child was “wrong”. When we pull a dogs tail, the dog just might bite us. However, with the owner’s permission, it’s great to pet the dog on his back. With a teenager, maybe they are making a choice to watch t.v. and not do homework. Talk about the behavior. Talk about the future. Don’t tell the child they’re wrong in their choice. Instead talk about the behavior and understand why they are making the choice to not do homework.

3. Be consistent. This is so important. Children need very clear guidelines. If a behavior is not ok on Monday, but ok on Tuesday, children become uncertain and confused. If they must wash their hands before eating, then make sure this happens every single time. If you are in a restaurant, you can use the restroom there to wash hands. If you are at a friend’s home, you can use the restroom there to wash hands. By being consistent it will be habit for the kids to wash their hands before eating. If your child is not allowed to jump on the couch, then there must be consequences every single time he/she jumps on the couch. When you are consistent, your children recognize that what you say is the way it is. They trust you. I know it sounds “weird” but when you are inconsistent, children don’t trust what you say. They know that your word might or might not be true.

4. Allow your child to make choices. Choices build a child’s self esteem and self confidence. With a very young child, allow them to choose their own outfit. Allow them to choose what toy to play with. Allow them to choose which book to read. With an older child, allow them to help choose which foods to serve with a meal. Allow them to choose their own clothes at the store. Allow them to begin developing their own routines of when to do homework, when to talk on the phone, and when to watch t.v. When we allow our children to make choices, we are helping them develop their own self confidence.

5. Spend time with your children doing what they want to do. Spending time with your child is so important. Having you, their parent, involved in the activity they’ve chosen can lead to a non stop smile on your child’s face. Does your 3 year old want to go to the park? Go, have fun. Does your 5 year old want to go to McDonalds? Go, grab a diet coke and watch your child smile. Does your teenager want to go to the mall? Go, enjoy the time together. Children want to be with mom and dad.

Audrey Okaneko is mom to two girls. She can be reached at audreyoka@cox.net or visited at http://www.scrapping-made-simple.com.

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Many parents find trying to get their child to bed at night to be one big struggle. The child may play up, whinge and even cry. When in bed, the child may then repeatedly keep getting out of bed and coming downstairs. This article gives advice on how to successfully get your child into bed at night, without all of this fuss.

Some children even though they know that they are tired, do not want to miss out on any of the action or excitement. They want to spend as much time with mom and dad as possible. They can even see the fact that they have to go to bed before their parents as unjust and even cruel. These types of children will want to disrupt and even avoid going to bed at all cost.

I myself have two young children and have been through this experience myself. My daughter especially needs her sleep and can be very moody in the mornings, if she has not had a particular amount of hours of it. As a parent it can become very frustrating as well as upsetting when you see your child crying because they do not want to go to bed. Comments like, please dad just one more program on the television, were far too regular, and at times I felt like backing down.

I have now learnt via reading many books on parenting, how to best deal with this situation. Each child now has a set time when they have to be in bed by. This is a time that they have both agreed to!

They get changed into their pyjamas around half an hour before this time, and then can either spend that period of time playing with their toys or watching the television. If they want to play, we ensure that the games are relaxing ones and not too energetic.

If there is a program that is on later than their agreed bedtimes, I agree to video it for them, this way they know that they are not missing out etc.

I have agreed that I will read them a story at bedtime. This is something they both love and helps them to wind down and relax. They are also given a drink to go to bed with, therefore there is no need for them to keep coming downstairs. This drink is always a juice and should not be fizzy.

I have explained to each child the importance of sleep and that it should be something to enjoy and not to see as some sort of punishment. I have even gone as far as saying that I would love to go to bed at the time that they do, unfortunately their mother does not allow it.

I have tried to make their bedrooms their own little palace. A place that they want to spend time, a place which they find fun, relaxing and comfortable.

My son likes to hear music and therefore we play a tape of his favourite songs in his room. The volume is set quite low and this certainly helps him to get to sleep quite quickly.

These tips have helped to make our childrens bedtimes a pleasant experience, where it once was quite fraught. The children themselves are now into a routine, a routine they are happy with. I hope this advice proves useful to you as well. Good luck.

Stephen Hill helps to promote a number of websites including:

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